Chloe Messdaghi: No More Imposter

In this talk, Chloe Misi, head of threat intelligence at Hiden Layer, explores the concept of imposter syndrome, a psychological pattern characterized by self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud. She discusses how this phenomenon affects individuals across all demographics, challenging the myth that it only impacts women. Misi emphasizes the importance of recognizing the emotional triggers that can lead to feelings of inadequacy, such as lack of representation, toxic work environments, and perfectionism. Through personal anecdotes and practical coping strategies, she encourages audience members to acknowledge their achievements, seek mentorship, and create supportive networks to combat imposter syndrome. Overall, she stresses the essential role organizations play in fostering a healthy work environment that addresses mental health and inclusivity.

[Music] hi everyone it is so lovely to be here and I'm so thankful to be here it's Brad and early over in California but it's the perfect way to start my week so today we're going to talk about no more impostor uh once again my name is Chloe misi and I'm the head of threat intelligence at hiden layer and this kind of is an interesting conversation it's

a little bit different from maybe some of the stuff you've already seen today so far but we're going to talk a little bit about our confidence so what is impostor syndrome well there is a definition here on this slide but it's a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud how this could look is that you go

into a meeting and it's your first time ever in this meeting with this group of people and they all have like phds in this area but you don't however you've been in this space for some time and you are seen as an expert but deep down inside a part you feels like do I belong here imposter syndrome can show up in so many different ways but it's

usually the feeling of I don't belong here or I'm not good enough or it could be anything from I don't see any representation of myself in here so I'm kind of feeling or is there anyone who looks like me in the room and even if that's just the case that can also cause a problem so some common signs and symptoms is the self-doubt it's do I belong

here do I deserve to be here like I don't know anything about this topic suddenly um it could be also this overachieving like you want to be the best that you can of yourself or you want to constantly prove that you have the ability to learn but also attributing access to external factors for example if someone asked you know how did you get to where you are

you would say by pure luck and timing this is kind of a phrase you may hear once in a while from experts um but usually it's because they put a lot of work into it and that's one of the reasons why they have succeeded so much in life in their career or the fear of not living up to expectations where a part of you thought like well

I thought that I would know everything this one subject but apparently I don't know this one thing and so I'm concerned someone's going to ask me about this one particular topic and I don't know how to give that topic so overall the fears of of like am I good enough do I belong here are the over arching themes you're going to see when it comes to imposter

syndrome and about 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives now the one thing that a lot of people may not be familiar with is that in 1987 there was a research paper that came out and coined the term impostor syndrome so these two researchers were trying to understand why were women at University feeling like they don't belong or they're not good enough

in the area that they're focused on and one of the things that they realized was because they were the only ones in the room so the only women in the room however I just want to point out even though that that study came out about women it affects everyone it it could affect anyone regardless of their gender age or occupation but one thing to know about imposter

syndrome is the whole feeling of do I belong here or also am I good enough these are not really like an imposter syndrome per se it's more of a confidence situation about do I feel comfortable in this room do I feel comfortable in the knowledge that I have but also when you're a high in achieving individual this could also become one of those things where you're going

to deal with a little bit more than usual because you're always trying to be the best that you possibly can or the or it could just be to just make sure that you don't know you know everything let's just be honest you know everything about this particular topic because you're worried someone's going to catch that you don't know something so thus you anything now there's a couple

myths about impostor syndrome one is only women and experience it and that's not true whatsoever men can also experience this even if you're nonbinary you can experience this it doesn't matter what your gender is at the end of the day it's if you feel like you belong in that and that you have the ability to know the content very well then you're going to have you're not

going to be dealing with imposter syndrome as much but the thing is is that men do experience it and one of the examples I like to share is for if you have like autism or ADHD and you go into a room or a meeting and you feel like you're the only one one who's neurod Divergent this may make you feel like this may not be an environment

where you in and instead it may you feel like you're an outcaster myth two so impostor syndrome is a mental illness it is not it's a psychological pattern n diagnosable mental illness so uh what does that mean uh psychological pattern this is more of someone feeling these ways when something comes up so say for example if if you go into meetings where you are the only person

with your background and that makes you feel uncomfortable because you're the only one um that could be an issue but sometimes it could be a reaction to our environment so say for example if I go into a room and everyone in there in that room are male presenting and I'm the only woman in the room I'm going to feel uncomfortable perhaps because in the past uh men

may have like interrupted when I talked or repeated what I said and took credit for work and so because of a past this can make me feel more uncomfortable and this can allow me to develop symptoms of something like impostor syndrome but the reality is is that impostor syndrome uh is something that can be imaged it's just it's the feelings of self-doubt can reoccur and that's the

thing it's like you're never fully cured of like not having imposter syndrome um but it is something that you can have these feelings over time you may have bouts in your life where you're confident in and then a year goes by and you don't feel as confident or you're learning a new subject and everyone around you seems to know this subject so much better or more confident

than you and so it makes you feel uncomfortable and so you can also feel like you have imposter syndrome in those moments so just a reality check here is that imposter syndrome affects all genders like I said even though it was coined back in the day um by a couple professors and researchers it about women but it is all genders it is a common experience it's not

a mental disorder and managing apost syndrome is an ongoing process it isn't just a cure all it's something that comes through in and out of your life so it's more about developing these coping strategies and resilience but also understand why you're feeling this way and how do you go about feeling a little bit better so I wanted to share an experience that I've had of imposter syndrome

is that I remember at an event about a year ago I was in DC and this event was a huge huge thing for my career and I remember getting into my hotel room and just feeling like I don't belong there I had zero confidence and I'm wondering why did I why was I even invited to this event and so I remember at that moment looking up and

trying to understand why was I feeling this way and there was many different reasons why but overall I felt like I didn't belong in that room and so I remember in the hotel room um making a list in my journal of things that I have achieved that I thought I would never be able to achieve so then if I ever have any of those moments later down

the road that I would look at that list and by looking at list I would be able to recognize that oh wait I've done all these other things so yeah no I deserve to be in that room so coping strategies is about finding something that works for you where it reinforces how you feel about yourself but also giving you that confidence that you need so common triggers

around this and we've touched on some of it we're going to go into each one of these so external factors a high press environments a competitive workplace or Academia what does that mean that means that you're working somewhere where the environment isn't healthy uh a competitive or a high pressure environment is not usually a healthy work environment it's an environment where you constantly have to be on

your toes but also because there may or be political games being played or you have someone trying to steal your work throwing you on a bus there's so many different things that can cause you to get overwhelmed and one of the things that people may understand is that you start getting these feelings of I don't but you can also may feel like you're going crazy and I

know this sounds really weird but if you're in an environment where it's really unhealthy like we're talking about emotionally abusive like you have a boss who talks de down to you interrupts you takes credit for your ideas Slanders you in in meetings that's not going to be good on you and it may make you feel like it's got to be me I'm the problem it's got to

be me because it's easier to blame myself right but at the end of the day uh that might just be because you have a bad manager an unhealthy manager and when you have an unhealthy manager then that means that these high pressure environments are going to deteriorate your mental health where you will be questioning everything which makes you feel like you are going crazy because you don't

know what is happening how did we get here how did that happen and so when you're in that kind of work environment High Press environments like that can really impact your mental health and can contribute to having feelings of imposter syndrome Now new roles or responsibilities promotions career change save for example that you were on a blue team in security you're on the defensive side and you

decide to make the switch to the red team the offensive side of things now you have new R roles and responsibilities so thus you're playing a game of catchup everyone else seems like they know what they're doing and you're still learning on the job but it doesn't mean that you don't deserve to be there but it can trigger you to feel like they're going to find I'm

a fraud and the thing is you're not a fraud you got that job because of your experience and they believe in you your employer but it can still make you feel inadequate now lack of representation di is really important to note here because the original study about imposter syndrome was about women the reason that women were experienced that in their research was because they were the only

ones in the room or the only ones in the department so when they would go in these classes they would be the woman who would try to speak up but people wouldn't take her seriously so it impacted her her environment impacted her in other words and so lack of representation of being in a room when you feel like you're the only one can always be an issue

because even if you walk in confident with everything there may be individuals that have unconscious biases I against who you are and may actually take credit for your work without knowing it but maybe they do know that they are and so on and so this can also trigger these feelings because if you're feeling ignored in a room when you're supposed to be an expert that can also

contribute to oh I guess maybe I don't know anything now there are internal factors perfectionism setting unrealistically high standards I don't know about you but if you were growing up in a household where you were celebrated by your your grades in school um that could be one of the things that can't impact you or if you're in any sports in school when growing up is trying to

be the best that you possibly can and that is on the sense of perfectionism the feel of failure that you'll never you're not GNA you're not going to make it or someone's GNA notice that I don't know one particular think so thus I am a fraud in everything um so it's the overall fear of making mistakes you don't want to make a mistake and a lot of

that once again could come from childhood um but it can also happen when you work in a toxic work environment like I mentioned at the beginning of the slide alone is really important to understand when you feel like you are alone you feel like you're an outcast that you don't fit in so thus it's hard to feel connected and when we feel connected with others we feel

appreciated we feel like there's mutual respect but when we feel alone it's very hard because it feels like it's you against the world and so these feelings can also kind of contribute to feeling syndrome now the impact so I kind of touched on this briefly but the whole thing about imposter syndrome is really about your self-esteem your confidence it's being stressed it's about having anxiety it's about

avoiding opportunities because you don't think you're good enough you don't belong in that room you don't belong to go to that conference and so on so on individuals it can look very differently for some it might be uh the anxiety and stress of like not knowing everything so it can contribute to having kind of like not the best sleep at night as you can imagine like insomnia

throughout the night if you know you have to present at a meeting and you're worried that you're going to make a mistake or you don't know every answer that someone's going you but also decreases self-esteem and confidence um if you do work in an environment where it's not healthy it's very hard to feel like you know you know your subject and that you're confident to speak up

that's what toxic work environments can do they lower your confidence and your ability to perform your job so this can decrease your self-esteem at the end of the day the avoidance of challenges and opportunities that is definitely one of the things that you can know if you're dealing with this for example if you're asked to join a panel conversation for work about a topic um you may

feel like I don't know everything so I don't feel comfortable getting on stage for that panel but the one thing you can always know is that you don't need to know everything to be on that panel if you don't know something you just say I simply that's a great question I don't know that and that should be fine enough but if deep down inside you're worried that

that might be presenting as someone who doesn't know your subject and that you are a fraud per se then that's going to make you want to avoid those type of opportunities and challenges now on organizations the one thing to know is that organizations do play a very very big role or whether or not you may have impostor syndrome so you may think that you don't have it

at this time but say you get a new job and the work environment isn't as healthy you have a manager that doesn't listen to you you go into meetings and your colleagues talk over you or it could be simply that anytime you deliver any of your assignments to your boss that is harshly graded or harshly taken in so this can lead to you feeling inadequate with your

job and it may make you feel like I'm maybe I don't I don't belong here maybe I don't belong in this subject maybe I don't know anything in this space maybe I need to look into another industry so organizations play such a large role to your mental health um but if you are in a work environment where impostor syndrome is occurring uh you'll see that there's a

reduce of productivity due to lack of confidence also employer uh employee turnover from a burnout and dissatisfaction now know about one thing is that it doesn't mean that the turnover is because of people are leaving the company actually if anything in toxic work environments how it usually works is that they do layoffs um quite a bit um because they don't see that the employees ever doing their

job properly but that could also just be because you came in very confident but you had a boss who just took that carpet and pulled it underneath you and so the confidence level just got shot so this can make things really hard to get things done but also confidently done and so this can lead to you being on The Cutting Board per se at the employer um

there's also lower levels of innovation and risk-taking because you're so concerned of failure at this point if you have imposter syndrome you're not going to go and try to take on something new you're going to be more conservative about what you do what you say and you don't really take risks but the thing is is that when you're in an environment where risks are taken um that

can help better the company or operations those are usually people that end up getting promoted but once again if you're in a bad work place you're not going to be feeling comfortable to take any of those risks instead you might just keep it to yourself so there are strategies to overcome but once again it's not really overcoming it it's something that will come in waves throughout your

life um but it's to recognize and acknowledge feelings the most important thing is to understand why you may be feeling that way like in the example I said when I was in DC I felt like I was dealing with imposter syndrome I knew something was wrong I knew that I needed to believe in myself because who else is going to believe in me other than myself and

so I remember that journal entry so sometimes what might be really good is to journal um if you have struggled to kind of understand what's going on sometimes we don't really know what's happening in our head as much as we think that we do sometimes our loved ones will point out like hey is everything okay um but generally can be something really like healthy for you to

know what is going on because you'll be in a different Zone writing out feelings and trying to understand why you're feeling a certain way and that could be really powerful to know what is happening within yourself uh you can reframe those negative thoughts so Challenge and replace with self uh doubt and positive with positive affirmations so what does this look like instead of saying oh I don't

know I don't know everything in this one topic I'm going to fail if someone asks me anything you can say to yourself I don't know everything but no one does which is true right no matter if you're an expert in something you don't know everything people look through things through different lenses they're going to have different questions they're going to see different connections than you will so

they're going to ask questions that you may not be able to answer and that's okay so it's always important is to acknowledge that if you don't know something don't beat yourself up about it instead learn about it and then you can provide that answer to that person who ask you that question but once again that's if you work in an environment feel like you can be yourself

in a sense where you feel confident in your abilities so a healthy work environment is going to help you with the reframing however if you work in a toxic work environment that's going to be a little bit tricky um to reframe your negative thoughts but it is doable but it's also a time where if you recognize you're in a bad place it may be good to start

looking elsewhere um you can celebrate the achievements keep a record of accomplishment and positive feedback like that journal entry I always take it with me wherever I go so if I ever have one of those moments again I just look at it and just to remind myself I do deserve to be in that room I do deserve to be at that event um because of the things

I've achieved um but you can also do is get a little index card or post it and you can write down things that uh you've achieved that you didn't think you would be able to achieve or things that you're really proud of and you can put it in your wallet um if they ever need to pull out now when it comes to um professional strategies on here

to not want once again overcome in a sense but in the moment when you're going through a wave is to seek feedback and mentorship so asking someone to give you constructive feedback is really important but make sure you do it to someone I mean have that conversation with someone that you respect and they respect you um but also someone who's you believe in their opinion and their

opinion matters to you so finding a mentor can be really helpful because you can always go to them and ask them did I the right thing is there something I need to focus on that I'm not focusing on in my career and that could be incredibly helpful for you um on your journey and your career I can tell you I've had times in my life where I

didn't have a mentor and it made things a lot harder in many ways um but having a mentor allows me to run ideas by them and also to get uh constructive feedback so I can be a better version of myself but also to be a getting better at being an expert in certain Fields set realistic goals is another one so you break down those large task into

manageable steps sometimes we get really excited when we're taking on a project but it can also be very overwhelming so it best is to kind of break it down into small chunks so having realistic goals is really important for your confidence instead of saying like I will I guess one could say it's like I will get a degree Within four years that would be uh a realistic

goal but it is quite a large role so you I mean goal so you want to break it down to manageable steps and how this could look like is you can just say that I want to get through these three courses and in three of these courses I want to get this grade but I also want to learn these things from these following courses in that quarter

so you break it down by quarterly instead of looking at the realistic uh goal of like I should say more the unrealistic goal that you'll get a certain GPA in four years this makes it a little bit easier and it helps with your confidence because you're doing one thing at a time and you're checking off your list you build a support network so surround yourself with support

of colleagues and friends this is so important uh having a supportive Network while you're going through something in your life is always helpful to have they're there to you know you know for you to bring Comfort to but for them to bring Comfort to you and also to help you out spot anything that you may not be spotting in your own personal life and then also take

those red flags seriously like I mentioned earlier if you ever feel like you're going crazy or you started a job and your confidence has just reduced significantly these are usually signs that you may want to go somewhere else and start looking and the reason for that is that usually if we've had a chance change in our personality or our mental behavior um within you know working at

a job that's usually a sign you need to leave especially if you're dealing with like burnout burnouts usually one of the biggest signs and if you're working in a place that is unhealthy um if you're in a managerial role that can be seen usually in the first to second years into the role but if you are in a role where you're not managing people that can usually

happen within one year for many it can actually start within the first six months so if you start feeling burned out at work this is usually a sign that you may want to start looking elsewhere because burnout from a job is usually a sign that things aren't good and your manager is not either respecting you or the work environment isn't good for you and you don't want

that to impact you in your career later down the road especially on your mental health so organizations place such a huge role in this it's not just on you about how uh you may be developing feelings of like impostor syndrome because it can literally be from a bad work environment and that's usually what see so creating supportive work environments are incredibly important so you want to encourage

open conversation where people can discuss mental health um but also they can discuss how they feel about certain projects and knowing that they're not going to deal with any consequences if they don't want to do a certain project outside their role so you want to encourage open conversations you want a manager where you can talk about certain things with them that's really important for you to feel

heard and seen and when we're feeling heard and seen we're able to do so much in our career um so definitely make sure you have open conversations and if you don't have that with your current manager May maybe get like a you know 15 minutes on their calendar and talk a little bit once again if you feel comfortable in doing so if you don't feel safe doing

so then don't do it but at least find someone else at the company where you can have those conversations with that you can trust um if you're an organization to provide Mental Health Resources there are companies out there that do provide um Outsource uh for counseling and also services that are referred out so you can do workshops on like anxiety or burnout or anything like that Foster

culture recognition and support um is so important is to recognize employees um for what they have done and achieved and making sure that they get credit for the work that they've done it's always important to recognize people because when we recognize people they feel like they belong there when we don't recognize them it becomes a problem where they don't feel seen or heard and then slowly that

kind of eats at someone's confidence so it's so important to recognize uh individuals and the incredible work that they're doing uh leadership training one of the things that you know I've said so many times here is when you have a bad boss a lot of things can go wrong and Leadership training is one of those things there's there are so many managers out there that may not

have self-awareness not understanding that what they're doing to the employees can be a problem the way that they talk to their um employees how that can be an issue and so it's really important for them to have continuous leadership training instead of just getting the role and then no training whatsoever it's important for them to continue to keep learning on how to be a good leader and

also how to empower their team but I really want to reiterate at that systematic challenge of exclusion and Buys in the workplace to that end the solution lies in fixing the systems and organizations not individual and that's why representation does matter really being the only one in the room can really contribute this even if you're in a workplace where it's healthy for for many doesn't mean it's

everyone so it's so important is that people feel like they belong when they go into work um and when they leave they still feel like they belong and so the most important thing that you can do is if you're a leader of an organization is to is to ensure that and also understand that representation does absolutely matter being the only one in the room is can be

such a challenge for so many people because usually it's the only ones in the room that tend to be silenced and so that's why representation does matter it's good to have people that have different opinions be at the table who look different from you at the table as well so here are some resources of some books um this list was provided by Harvard Business Review but these

are all great books to start getting into uh impostor syndrome and to understand it further but if you really want to read something a little bit order there was an actually an article in the Atlantic a couple years ago that talked with the actual original folks that coin the term impostor syndrome and talked about the history of why they said that and why there's parts of it

that they have problems with it and so is a great read I think the article can take anywhere from like five to 15 minutes to read depending on how your reading uh level can be but is great read um but these books are also fantastic as well I do recommend is to check out some of the harbor Business Review articles on imposter syndrome there was another one

that came out about impostor syndrome doesn't exist and that it has a lot to do with people not being um inclusive in the workplace or in Academia so say for example if you are a woman you are not going to feel as comfortable in a male dominated scene and so I talked about that in the article and also mention about people of color as well so the

biggest summary I hope is understanding that the Persistence of self-doubt and the fear of being exposed as a fraud is the general feeling of impostor syndrome but the thing to know about it is that it can be seen differently in every single person and the reasons behind it can be different for every person too but the thing that you can always recognize is that it can increase

anxiety can cause stress it can decrease self-esteem and also your productivity and the most one of the other things is to understand do not forget this is that the importance of recognizing and acknowledging feelings not just for yourself but for others too if they come to you talking about how they don't feel as confident anymore listen to them maybe Point them in the right direction but usually

usually a change in Behavior a change of mental health around others is usually a sign that you know maybe they need some extra support at this time so acknowledge your own feelings too and if you do struggle to do that and have self-awareness about how you feel I do recommend is to journal um that can be so helpful um especially if you don't really feel comfortable talking

to people about how you feel journaling is a great way how to get into your head and to understand the depth of it but also therapy um if that is something that is needed therapy is a great way to channel how you're feeling and having a deeper understanding while having someone help guide you through those feelings and understanding about why you're in that situation um reframe negative

thoughts is it you or the situation and I I love this question because you can always ask yourself is it me or is it the situation I'm in that's causing me to have these feelings so being able to understand those two separate uh places is incredibly important for understanding how you're feeling and how you treat how you feel so if it is you um maybe just figure

out have you always been this way has it been no matter what work environment you work in you're feeling this way then that might be something to deal with with your emotions of why why are you feeling this way and to have a good understanding about why and it doesn't have to be um internally like the issues are happening it can still also be reflected of being

represented still or the situation which can be from a bad workplace once again if you are feeling burned out at work uh it may be a good time to look at that a little bit deeper now celebrate your achievements like I said you could put like a small card you could keep it in your wallet um or you can you know put in a journal and like

carry it with you whatever that makes sense for you to do it um it it has helped me several times I would say is having that list so I can always look at it and be like okay so that's what's going on right now but also it's good to remind yourself that you've done you've done quite a bit your life even celebrate the small wins in life

um because you've you put a lot of time and energy into it and that's what matters day um I just want to say thank you all for existing if you want to reach out to me that is my LinkedIn uh link and then if you want to DM me on Twitter Instagram it is open feel free to reach out and there is my website secur by cloy

more than happy to answer any questions um but also if you have any questions at this time more than happy to answer them I'll give everyone a couple minutes it's okay if you're shy about it there's no worries um whenever we talk about something that is personal sometimes it could be hard to ask questions all right well is it's been such a pleasure to be here thank

you so much for having me and it was fantastic to start my morning off with yall and I hope you enjoy the rest of your conference and once again thank you so much and I hope to hear from some of you soon reach out anytime bye for